Infinite Possibilities

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21, oh life has just begun… It’s been a very long time since I wrote a post. In that span of time, so much has happened in my life. My entire junior year of college has

Part of the BSU board at my Zeta new member presentation.

Part of the BSU board at my Zeta new member presentation.

literally come and gone, and reflecting back on it, I must say I am truly blessed. It had its fair share of ups and downs, but nonetheless, it was very fulfilling for me personally. I had the opportunity to serve our Black Student Union as President, culminating my years of service to this wonderful organization. I am excited and optimistic for its future on campus, as I see amazing young people ready to take on its reigns.

My Aunt and I during my freshman year.

My Aunt and I during my freshman year.

My beloved Aunt Marilyn passed on January 16th, right before my Spring semester started. I tell you now, you will never meet a woman as caring and warm as her, and it hurt my soul so deeply that she left us–too soon, in my eyes. I wasn’t ready for it (who ever is?), but even as she was sick, I just knew and believed she’d get well. She always did. But this time, it was her time to transition to her heavenly home. Just months before, she graduated with her doctorate. And within a week, she was hospitalized. I thank God for giving her the strength to make it through a glorious journey that exhausted her for many years. I thank Him for the life she lived, the love she poured out to others, and most importantly, the love she had for her Savior. I draw on her strength continually through everything I do, and I know she’s looking over me and our loved ones near and far.

My family at my Aunt's commencement in November.

My family at my Aunt’s commencement in November.

Yet, in the midst of pain, God prepares you for greater blessings. This semester, I had the privilege to begin a lifelong journey of sisterhood through becoming a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. This was no doubt a culmination of years of contemplation, relationship building, support, and growth. While I had some sort of exposure to other sororities prior to coming to Minnesota, my journey with Zeta was solely influenced by the relationships I found with Sorors here in Minnesota, which is honestly, quite beautiful to me. What was most resonating with me was that, wherever my journey would take me, Zetas would be there to support me, encourage me, and be a mentor to me, regardless of my interest. The entire Blue and White Family have also always been there for me, and I am so grateful for both my sisters and brothers. I truly inherited a family.

My LS's and I after we were inducted into Zeta! #ElementZOfFinerWomanhood

My LS’s and I after we were inducted into Zeta!
#ElementZOfFinerWomanhood

I entered the sisterhood alongside seven amazing, beautiful, strong, resilient young women that I love dearly. To know that I have the rest of my life ahead of me to share with them and vice versa is a blessing, indeed! We are so different in so many ways, but through our bond in Zeta, our sisterhood comes to life. I love Zeta because of its ability to bring women together from all walks of life and unite them through our principles, and I feel it strongest through the bond with my LS’s. These women are about to take over the world! #JustWaitOnIt It’s amazing how God works. I remember my Soror Brittany telling me on Founders’ Day this year (not my Soror at time obviously, but at this point, I was sold on becoming a Zeta) to think about how I would honor January 16th moving forward, in light of my aunt’s passing. January 16th is now not a day of mourning, but a day of celebration. It is a day where I can reflect on the matchless power of sisterly love, as it is my Founder’s Day. I can honestly say that the way my Aunt loved me and those in her life influences me in my relationships not just with my sisters, but with everyone, and if anything, January 16th is a day of rededication to do just that: love, and love fiercely. —- I’m sitting here right now, in awe that in less than one year, I will be a graduate of the University of Minnesota. I will have graduated with honors. I will have left a legacy here that I never thought I could accomplish almost three years ago when I stepped foot on my campus. I will leave with friendships, sisterhoods, family that I can cherish for a lifetime. I will literally have the world at my feet. Not many can say this, so this is a blessing in itself. I am at that point in my college career where people are starting to ask me, “So what are your plans post-graduate?” Honestly, I don’t know. My path is not clear-cut, and to be honest, it never was–at least, outside of my education. I was never the type of person who made a strict plan for my life in the next 5-10 years. I thrive in the college environment because anything less than 5 years I can work with. Once inspired, I set my basic path (primarily, my academics), but along the way, experiences came into my life and I took advantage of them. And so, I cannot tell you where I’ll be in 5-10 years. And I don’t want to be able to tell you. I am on the track towards my doctorate and professorship–a goal further solidified through my aunt’s journey. But right now, I cannot say definitively what discipline. Through my major, I have been exposed to multiple disciplines, and I’m still searching for the one best for me. I know I am called to be an educator. There are days when I see myself as a professor. Other days as a K-12 teacher. Other days as something creating curriculum system-wide that better engages students holistically and seeks to teach the truth. I could very well do all of these things in my career. I’m just not sure where I’ll start first. For a long time, I said I would go back home to Chicago for a few reasons. I miss my family dearly. Every year, I seem to spend less and less time at home. I also feel compelled to bring everything I have learned here in Minnesota back home. But I’ve also traveled across the country and can see myself elsewhere for awhile. East Coast, Down South…maybe even still the Midwest. But that’s not a solidified decision. I have a unique opportunity in my hands as I approach graduation. God has blessed me with life circumstances that allow me infinite possibilities! At first, I was afraid of this. I wanted to go home because it was safe. I almost considered staying in Minnesota because it was safe from a career standpoint. I considered different locations because certain friends of mine lived there. And that’s fine and all, but I don’t have the obligation to do so. I am not married, nor am I in a relationship. I don’t have children. I am not burdened financially to the point I cannot be mobile (I just have a boatload of loans -_-). I will have an education. I have knowledge of a plethora of opportunities that could take me anywhere. All I have to do is take advantage of them. What a blessing indeed! So, when the time comes, I will make my next move. My senior year is shaping up to be great. My big project is my Senior Honors Thesis (which I will chronicle the process through the blog). I’m transitioning out of BSU and into Zeta. And most importantly, I will graduate on-time. Currently, I plan to apply to a variety of public service/federal corps programs in the gap year(s) between undergrad and graduate school. I could honestly be placed anywhere in the country through these programs. And who knows? I might come across an opportunity that will take me out of the country. While that is definitely scary in itself, I cannot be found by fear. Whatever path God has for me is the best for me, so why should I be afraid? Why should I limit His blessings? Writing this post in itself has been therapeutic. I will confess and say more often than not, I approach this topic with more cowardice than courage. I want to take the easy road out. I want to tie my life down. I want to take the next step that’s been outlined for me by the world, no questions asked. The trajectory looks much clearer that way. But obviously, that’s not what God wants for me. He wants me to take the leap of faith I have dreaded for some time now. He wants me to trust Him with my future. He wants me to stop burdening myself with worry and self-doubt and just JUMP. And He has ensured this through leading me down the road less traveled. When I am afraid, I remember what my God said: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). At every step, He will be there. At every moment where I feel I do not have a clue as to what I should do, He will guide me. When I am weak, He will strengthen me. I am worthy to fulfill His plan for me, because He lives in me. And that’s all I need. The possibilities are infinite, and I have just scratched the surface on what could happen. And that’s alright with me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqdd2_SiTsU

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